


Lose Control - A "Mon Petit Chou" Trilogy SideFic

by TDKeh16



Series: "Mon Petit Chou" Series [4]
Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Coming Out, Gay mentor Bitty, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Misunderstandings, Self-Acceptance, Some angst, Super repressed Dex, don't listen to the tadpoles Nursey, eventually
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-08
Updated: 2016-04-17
Packaged: 2018-05-31 23:23:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 18,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6491590
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TDKeh16/pseuds/TDKeh16
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>William (Dex) Poindexter likes to be in control. He gets his hair cut on the same day of every month, never turns in a late assignment, and refuses to acknowledge that he is gay. He does a good job of staying in control of his life, especially his thoughts. That is, until he catches Bitty and Jack kissing. In an effort to reassure Bitty that his secret is safe, Dex is forced to confront his discomfort about his own sexuality. It's luck enough that he has found a confidant in Bitty, but does Dex want more than that? He doesn't want to admit it, but he's had someone on his mind for a while now. And what will Nursey think when Dex suddenly becomes so close to their petit teammate?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a side-fic to the Mon Petit Chou Trilogy which is about Zimbits. This story takes place in the two weeks following Hausgiving, when Dex inadvertently comes out to Bitty.

**December 12th, 2015: Haus Party**

"What the fuck? Dex!" Nursey pushed him away looking truly horrified.

"Sorry, I-!"

"Sorry doesn't really cut it right now, dude. Seriously! What the fuck is wrong with you?" The normally calm Derek Nurse was anything but at the moment. "This is literally the least chill thing you have ever done. **_Ever_**. Never figured you for _that_ kinda guy. Wow. I was so wrong about you..."

Dex watched helplessly in silence as Nursey stormed off. He knew it. He never should have kissed him...

**Two weeks earlier:**

Dex pretended he was still asleep when Lardo came to check on him the morning after their second annual Hausgiving. He felt her staring at his back for an uncomfortable amount of time from her spot crouched next to Chowder's bed. He was about to give in and ask what her problem was, when he heard her whisper to herself.

"Good. Still breathing..." She shuffled her way back into her bedroom through the adjoining bathroom.

Dex silently cursed his captains for creating such an idiotic drinking game, but especially himself for participating in the first place. Could that even been considered a drinking game? All Dex knew was that he was hungover and did not want to see any of the Haus residents or their guests at the moment.  He was fairly certain he would not be able to make eye contact with anyone for at least a week.

Was this how the Haus was _every_ night? "How the hell does Chowder handle this?" Dex mumbled quietly. He was sure his hangover would not be as bad as it currently was if he had a chance at a regular sleep the night before. Not only Chowder, but how did anyone sleep in the Haus with all of the laughing and sex noises all night? Maybe it was a vicious cycle that started with Bitty's room and circled through the Haus until nobody could sleep because everybody was keeping everyone else awake. _It's probably quieter when Jack and Shitty aren't visiting..._ He thought to himself.

Even if it was normal for the Haus, maybe Chowder was not as bothered by it as Dex assumed. After all, he had a serious girlfriend. Rationally, he knew his outwardly innocent friend was likely experienced by now, but he could not picture it no matter how hard he tried. "Ugh!" Dex groaned. "Don't _try_  to picture it you fucking pervert!" He scolded himself. Bitty seemed sweet and innocent too, but Dex knew better than that now.

He groaned again as he rolled himself out of Chowder's bed and sought out painkillers and water in the bathroom. He could hear muffled talking and laughter coming from downstairs. Dex choked on his second glass of water when the sound of someone running up the stairs and down the hall caught him by surprise. He coughed and resolved to sleep for another hour or so to hopefully recover a little from the hangover.

******

Dex had expected to be unable to look the others in their eyes for a week following that night, so he was especially surprised the following day when he found himself chatting with Bitty in the Haus kitchen while the shorter man baked.

"Do your parents know?"

"They do," Bitty pushed his hair off his forehead with the back of his arm, only to have it fall again as he leaned over his rolling pin.

"You need one of those hair pins or whatever that you can clip in there," Dex chuckled.

" _Apparently_ ," Bitty laughed and blew a puff of air at his wayward bangs.

"What do they think? Are they okay with it?"

"It took them by surprise, but they're fine with it. They both really like Jack."

"And his parents know too?"

"Yeah. They're really supportive. I never would have pictured them like that back when I first met Jack, since it seemed like he was so stressed whenever he spoke to his father..." Bitty trailed off as he got distracted by his hair again. "Sorry, where was I? Oh yeah, they've been great. I guess that 'always give 110%' personality of his had to come from somewhere right?" He laughed again.

"It must be nice..." The third time Dex watched Bitty fuss with his hair without being able to touch it with his flour-covered hands, the defenseman stood and started digging through one of the kitchen drawers. "Oh, for the love of god..."

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing. Here," Dex turned around with the clip usually used to secure opened bags of chips. He gave Bitty's bangs a twist and used the chip clip to pin them back. "Better?"

"That pinches! Ah!" Bitty squirmed when Dex secured him in a playful headlock to keep him still while he adjusted the clip. "Okay, better."

Dex laughed and sat back down. "You need a haircut. You look so ridiculous right now."

"It grows so fast," Bitty sighed. "Unlike yours, apparently."

"I get a haircut on the 7th of every month."

Bitty laughed. "Well no wonder I never notice it growing."

"You're so lucky, Bitty..."

"For my hair? Am I pulling of the kitchen clip look?" He wiggled his head so that the clip in his hair bobbed from one side to the other.

"That both of your parents are okay with you guys being together. I don't know what my parents would do with a gay son..."

Bitty's smile softened and he let out a sad sigh. "I was really scared of them knowing for a long time. Do you know when I finally came out to someone for the first time?"

"When?"

"My first year here at Samwell, right around this time, too. Rans and Holtzy kept talking about finding me a girl to go to winter screw with and I didn't know what to say. I came out to Shitty for the first time ever in all my eighteen years."

"What did he say?"

"He was so cool with it, obviously, but I didn't know him as well then as I do now. I was terrified of what would happen when people finally knew, but it was okay. Ransom and Holster found a guy to be my date for Winter Screw instead -- which was a _disaster_ , by the way. He puked all over my shoes -- and life went on like normal. Well, _almost_ normal."

"Almost?"

"I started feeling a little more comfortable in my skin after that. My 'normal' before then was always worried about the worst case scenario, but the reality here was so different. Like I didn't have to try keeping everything hidden so deep down. It felt so good to be accepted like that, you know?"

"I think you're way braver than me."

"Don't say that."

Ransom came home followed by a few tadpoles hoping to score some snacks, forcing Bitty and Dex to put a hold on their conversation. "What are you wearing on your head, Bits?"

"We had to improvise. Either that or I was going to postpone this pie and go for a haircut," he replied as he molded the dough inside the pie tin and cut away the excess along the rim.

"Do you have any cookies, Bitty?" One of the tadpoles asked.

"Do I have any cookies? My dear child, just who do you think I am?" Bitty pointed to the cookie jar on the counter. "Help yourself."

Dex stood from the table, slinging his laptop bag over one shoulder. "I'm going to head back to my dorm. Thanks for the talk, Bitty."

"Oh..." Bitty hesitated. He did not feel like he had done much to help the red-haired defenseman, especially with the turn their conversation had taken before they were interrupted. "Okay. If you want to talk more later just text me, okay?"

"Sure," Dex gave him a small smile before he left.

"What was that about?" Ransom asked his petit hausmate while the tadpoles happily munched on some of the delicious cookies he had made earlier that afternoon.

"Nothing to worry about. It's personal," Bitty smiled at his friend, not noticing the looks the tadpoles exchanged.

******

Dex was staring intently at his laptop as he sat in the library. To any passerby, he would have appeared deeply concentrated on his work, but it could not be farther from the truth. He had been pretending to read the same sentence over and over again for the past half hour.

His project was due the next day, but Dex just could not bring himself to focus on it. He had expected that he would have no problem finishing it over the long weekend, but that all flew out the window the second he walked in on Bitty kissing Jack. Everything after that had felt slightly blurry.

Dex rubbed his hands over his face and let out a groan. Life had been easier when he could deny _that_ part of him existed. He never should have come out to Bitty. Well, he did not exactly say it, but the little blond knew what he meant. It was a moment of weakness, and Dex regretted it. Damn Bitty for being so disarming. Dex should not even be thinking these things, let alone discussing them with his teammate. His gay teammate. His gay teammate who was dating their former captain. Their former captain Jack Zimmermann who was currently the most popular rookie in the NHL. Jack Zimmermann, who Dex had always assumed was straight. In his rush to assure Bitty that their secret was safe, he revealed too much about himself.

Yet, although it had brought him more stress, Dex felt a little relieved at the same time. He knew that he should not be talking about it and asking Bitty questions, but it felt so good to talk to someone finally. Bitty was so easy to talk to, too. Dex had known for a while that Bitty was gay, but he always assumed that the sweet, happy, blond would never understand where he was coming from. He seemed so comfortable with who he was by the time Dex had started at Samwell, he never would have thought that Bitty had struggled with coming out. For a moment, Dex let himself imagine he could do the same someday.

A shadow briefly passed over Dex and someone pulled up a seat across the table from him at Founders. He looked up from his laptop, "You're home?"

"Did you miss me?" Nursey grinned.

"Maybe a little," Dex looked back down at his computer. "How was New York?"

"Pretty good..." Nursey was caught off guard by Dex having any reaction to his teasing question besides an irritated sigh or comment. Did he just say he missed him? Nursey cleared his throat. "I uh, did a super cliché thing and checked out the parade. It was pretty chill. One of the balloons impaled itself on a streetlight and knocked it over about a block away from me. Nobody got hurt luckily."

"I saw that."

"You watched the Macy's parade?"

"Not the whole thing, just the clip with the balloon. Rans and Holster found it online that night and played it over and over again for ten minutes straight."

Nursey laughed. "Sounds about right."

"They turned it into a drinking game. 'Take a sip every time the balloon pops'... I don't really remember much after that."

"Sounds like Hausgiving was a hit. Maybe I should stay here next year."

"Well, it will be your last shot. Bitty is done next year. I don't think he will come back to cook after he graduates."

"True," Nursey nodded his head. "But you had a good Thanksgiving, right?"

"Yeah. It was great," Dex smiled, unbeknownst to himself. 

Nursey knew it was rude, but he could not help but feel unsettled by the redhead's uncharacteristically bright smile. It was not that Dex _never_ smiled, but it was not common, especially when Nursey was his only company. "I-!"

"You- Sorry, were you going to say something?"

"It's fine. You go first."

Dex's amber eyes focussed back on his computer screen. "Nothing, really. Just... you should stay next time," he smiled again. "What were you going to say, anyway?"

"Oh," Nursey realized that he did not actually know what he was going say before. _I like seeing you smile?_  No, there was no way he could say something like that out loud. He would be punched for sure. "Do you need a date for Winter Screw?"

Dex's residual smile quickly faded, replaced by a frown. "No."

"You already have one?"

"I don't want one."

"I can hook you up with someone if you want. There's a lot of cute girls in the English department..."

"I said _**no**_ ," Dex closed his laptop and slipped it into his bag. "I gotta go. Welcome home..." He walked off in a huff, leaving Nursey as confused as ever. The last thing he wanted was Nursey setting him up on a date with someone else.

******

Nursey noticed a lot of things over the next few days. There was definitely something different with Dex. Something had happened during Hausgiving that nobody was telling him, he was sure of it. Something besides a broken couch and a visit from Jack Zimmermann.

"S-so c-c-cold..." Bitty shivered as he entered the Haus kitchen still wearing his coat. "Oh, hi Nursey! When did you get here?" He asked when he found Nursey sitting at the table with a book and his notes.

"Half an hour ago. I had some studying to do but the guys down the hall of my dorm were being too loud."

"And you decided to come _here?_ " Bitty laughed. "Goodness it _must_ be loud over there."

"Take your coat off, Bittle. You'll warm up faster," Jack entered the kitchen as well, much to Nursey's surprise.

"That is an outright lie, sir!" Bitty insisted.

"Should I hel-!" Jack stopped when Bitty pointedly cleared his throat. "Oh. Hey Nurse. How's it going?"

"Pretty good. Studying. You came for a visit?"

"I took Bittle, Dex, and Chowder shopping for a new couch. It was loosely my fault that it broke."

Bitty reluctantly removed his coat and hung it on the rack in the hallway. "Can you stay for coffee?"

"Yeah, but I'll have to leave by 2:00, 2:30 at the latest."

Nursey understood why Chowder would be brought along for the approval of any future couches, but why did Dex go with them? "Where's Dex?"

"In the living room with Chowder, I think."

"Did you call me?" Dex walked in at the mention of his name.

"Hey!" Nursey beamed.

"What are you doing here?"

"Too noisy in the dorm. Happy to see me?"

"Always, obviously..." Dex rolled his eyes sarcastically.

Nursey laughed. "Good."

At that, Dex exchanged a look with Bitty. "Bitty can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Sure, let's go to my room," the petit blond touched Dex's arm lightly as he ushered him out of the kitchen.

"That was weird..." Nursey muttered as he looked down at his book.

Before Jack could offer an explanation, Chowder came in and began chatting happily about the new couch that would be arriving the following day. Nursey smiled as his friend went on, but continued glancing at the door to the kitchen. Why had they left so suddenly? He could not shake his uneasiness. Since when were those two so close?

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nursey overhears some of the tadpoles having a discussion about Dex and Bitty, meanwhile, Dex asks Bitty for a big favour...

"Do you think they'll go to Screw together?"

"I don't know. It wouldn't be a secret anymore if they did."

"But it's Samwell, who needs to keep quiet about dating another guy here?"

"Well, they're not exactly _discreet_. What the hell was up with that excuse at Hausgiving? Since when does it take two people to feed Chowder's goldfish?"

"And they were both way to happy when they came downstairs after. Dex smiled more that night than I've ever seen before..."

Nursey had already been casually eavesdropping on the tadpoles' conversation, but his ears perked up when he heard Dex's name. He stumbled over a chair on his way closer to the younger boys. "What are you guys talking about?"

"Sorry. We shouldn't be talking about it, I know."

"For the record, none of us have a problem with it or anything. It's just unexpected. You're his best friend, right? What did you think when you found out?"

"About what?"

"Dex and Bitty," the tadpole watched Nursey's expression change to a confused stare. "They're dating, right?"

"What? That's the first I've heard of it," but it was not the first Nursey had seen of it. Suddenly the little smiles, casual touches, and private conversations he had caught since returning from New York made sense.

"They aren't? Are you sure? I'd bet money on it."

"Yeah, if they aren't yet my guess is it's going to happen any day now," another tadpole nodded his head. "But I'm like, 90% they're banging already."

Nursey went a little grey. "No way..." He had been right. Something _did_ happen during Hausgiving. He felt like he might be sick. "Excuse me..." Nursey gathered his things and left the bewildered tadpoles in his wake.

"So he didn't know?" One tadpole turned to the other.

"Guess not. Oops."

******

Dex was leaving Bitty's bedroom after one of their now frequent talks when he bumped into Chowder.

"Dex!! Are you coming too???"

"Uh... Where?"

"For coffee! At Annie's!!! Didn't Nursey text you?? I assumed you were already there with him."

Dex checked his phone. No new messages. "I don't think I'm invited," he felt a lump rise in his throat. Nursey had been acting strangely the past few days. It felt like he was avoiding Dex, and this only confirmed it. When they were together, usually in group settings like team breakfasts, Nursey was uncharacteristically quiet. The usual chirping had been replaced with suspicious stares when he thought Dex did not notice.

"Oh?!!!!" Chowder looked panicked. "Um! I don't know!!! Maybe he wants to talk privately about something??? Sorry!! I shouldn't said anything maybe?? Please don't be mad!!!!"

"It's fine. I don't feel like dealing with Nurse right now, anyway. Have fun."

"You should come anyway!! Nursey's been acting weird lately..."

"Yeah, tell me about it," Dex sighed. "I doubt I would help the situation any. You go. I have plans anyway."

"Oh. Okay..." Chowder looked a little hurt for a moment. Nursey was not the only friend of his acting strangely lately. "I'll try to find out what's bothering him."

Bitty exited his bedroom just after Chowder left. "Ready?" He asked as they walked downstairs.

"Actually, can we go somewhere else for coffee?" Dex asked.

"You don't like Annie's?"

"No, I do. I just don't want to run into someone that I know is there right now," Dex sighed again. "Chowder told me he's meeting Nursey there and I really can't deal with that asshole right now."

"Did something happen?"

"The opposite. That shithead has been avoiding me all week," Dex grumbled. "He clearly doesn't want me around, so I'm not purposely going to get in the way right now. Even Chowder thinks he's acting weird."

Holster and Ransom overheard from the living room where they were playing video games. "You guys talking about Nursey?" Holster called out.

"How'd y'all know?" Bitty paused in the doorway as he slipped on his mittens.

"Because he's been acting really weird lately. Came to me the day before yesterday and practically begged us to set him up for Screw. I think his exact words were 'literally anyone'. It shouldn't be hard, he's one hell of a good looking guy, but I was surprised," Holster shrugged. "It was strange of him to even ask. He's never seemed that interested before, and like, it's not like he's been without offers all this time. I've seen him turn down plenty of chicks _and_ guys."

"Did you find him a date?" Dex asked.

"We're awaiting confirmation," Ransom answered. "Asked him a couple questions about his type and he said he would get back to us. I know he said _anyone_ , but come on. As captains we gotta look out for him, ya know? Especially with how he gets at these things."

"Aka a drunken fucking disaster of a human being," Holster laughed. "That kid simultaneously cracks me up and profoundly worries me."

"I'm going to use the bathroom before we head out," Dex excused himself, leaving Bitty in the living room with their captains.

Ransom listened closely for the sound of the door closing down the hall. "Hey, you guys have been hanging out a lot lately, huh?"

"Hm? Oh yeah, I guess," Bitty shrugged.

"Is everything okay?"

"Yes?" Bitty was confused by the question.

"He's not like, blackmailing you or anything about Jack, right?" Holster whispered.

"What?! Goodness, no!"

"We didn't really think he would but, you know, he's not the most queer-friendly guy, so we wanted to check."

"Yeah. Not that we think he's homophobic or anything, but he is _Republican_ , so..."

Bitty began shaking his head vigorously. "No, no, no. I promise there's nothing like that going on. I'm helping him out with something right now, that's all," he heard the click of the bathroom door opening and waved his hand to make sure the seniors stopped talking. "Everything is fine."

Dex grabbed his coat. "Thanks for waiting."

"I wouldn't leave _without_  you!" Bitty laughed. "Ready? Let's go!" He led the way with a tug of Dex's sleeve and the red haired defenseman followed him like a lost puppy.

"Hey Bitty...?" Dex asked a few minutes later as they walked towards a coffee shop in the opposite direction of Annie's. "Do you think you could find me a date for Winter Screw?"

" _What?_ " The shorter man blinked.

"I think I only like this one person, but it's impossible, so maybe I need to get over it already. You said there was no better place to yourself than at Samwell, right? So maybe I should try. It's not like it will be this easy to meet guys when I graduate and go home..." Dex's breath caught in his throat. That was the first time he actually specified out loud that he liked men. Even in his daily conversations with Bitty, he had managed to keep the terms he used gender-neutral when talking about himself. " _Oh_. Uh..."

"It's okay," Bitty flashed him a gentle smile and patted the taller man's arm. "The first time you say it is strange, huh? Isn't it a relief?"

Yeah..." But William Poindexter was feeling anything but relieved at the moment. Instead it felt like his chest was being squeezed in a vice and he could hardly breathe. "Holy shit..."

One look at Dex's face and Bitty knew that it was not a weight off his shoulders. "Ah, okay. Just take a deep breath. It's okay. Um," he led Dex over to a nearby bench. "Sit down for a minute."

"Holy shit," he repeated. "This is real. I'm _actually_ gay, aren't I?" Dex leaned forward and covered his face with this hands.

"I can't answer that for you, dear. You are the only one who knows the answer to that," Bity took a seat next to him and rubbed his back to calm him. "But no matter what, it's okay. You're allowed to be yourself, whatever form that may be."

"You make it sound so simple."

"It's not. It _should_ be, but I know it's not. Still, that doesn't make it less true. The important thing is that you find a way to be happy, ya know? I know I said Samwell is the best place to figure yourself out, but don't feel like you have to rush either. Telling me was a big step and you should be proud of that."

"You're impossibly nice..." Dex mumbled into his hands.

Bitty laughed. "Don't say _that_. Jeez! You're my friend, of course I want to help you any way I can."

"Are you sure that's normal friend behaviour? I don't think many people are willing to reach out like this to someone else."

"I'm sure Nursey will come around. Maybe he can tell you need some space right now?"

 _I don't want space from **him.**_  Dex sighed. "Will you find me a date? For Friday?"

"Are you _sure_  that's what you want?"

"I don't think it will feel _real_ until I actually try going on a date with... a guy," Dex paused. "Please, Bitty? I trust your judgment."

"I'm touched honey. Really, I am, but I just don't know that many people. I've only gone on a few dates with guys here, and I was introduced to them by Ransom. I want to help, but I wouldn't even know where to start. I would probably need to get recommendations from Ransom and Holster."

"Oh."

"It doesn't have to happen for Winter Screw you know. Don't feel pressured because that dance is right around the corner, if you're not ready-!"

"No. It's fine. I'm... I'm okay if they know, I think. They're great guys and you said they were such a big help to you, so, it's okay if you ask for their help finding me a date. I've spent my entire life too afraid to try anything, I'm sick of it. Last time I 'dated' anyone was in seventh grade. We kissed a few times and then she broke up with me because her friends told her I didn't have a soul. 

"I thought I was fine just avoiding crushes and relationships and all that... Until I came here. Sorry for panicking just now, but I think I'm ready."

"Okay," Bitty said with a slow nod. "I'll see what I can do."

******

Bitty waited until later in the evening to consult with his team captains about what Dex had asked him to do. "Guys? I need some advice..." He closed the attic door behind him so that their other Hausmates could not hear.

"What's up, Bits?" Ransom peered down from the top bunk.

"You see, I have this friend-"

"Is the 'friend' secretly you?" Holster asked.

"No!"

"You can tell us, Bits. Is it about Jack?"

"Is it about your sex life? We know all too much about that after Hausgiving weekend. We can-!"

Bitty interrupted Holster mid-sentence. "Shut up, it's not me! This is really about a friend and he needs my help and I don't know what to do!" He sat down on Holster's bed with a huff.

"Sorry Bitty, we were just kidding around. What's up?" Holster folded his laptop.

"A friend of mine asked me to set him up with a date for Winter Screw, but I don't really talk to many people outside of the hockey team, so I need your help," he knew Dex said it was okay to tell them, but Bitty did not feel comfortable outright outing him to Ransom and Holster.

"Is he looking for a girl or a guy?"

"Guy."

"What's his type?"

"I'm note sure. He's very new at this. He said he trusted my judgment," a point Dex had reiterated when Bitty had pressed him on that exact issue.

"So, what type are _you_ thinking of?"

"A gentleman," Bitty insisted. "Someone who is okay with taking things slowly. He just came out today, so I don't want him scared off by someone pushy. So, he has to be someone patient and understanding and helpful," Bitty trailed off and mumbled the last part. " _Likes redheads..._ "

"He just came out today? Are you sure he's ready to be thrown into a blind date like that?"

"Truthfully? No," Bitty sighed. "I'm really worried. He said he liked someone impossible and asked me to find him a date," in fact Dex's exact words when Bitty had questioned him was to repeat the earlier Nursey quote 'literally anyone'.

"So you want to find a nice, friendly guy who will just want him to have a good time and put zero pressure on him?"

"So like a sweet guy with no ulterior motives who will make sure his first date with a man is in a fun and safe environment? Bro..."

"Bro. Are we thinking the same thing?"

"Of course, bro. Bits," both men turned to their younger friend. "We've got a ' _swawesome_ idea."


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Winter Screw has arrived! Who is Dex’s date gonna be? Will he even go through with it? What about Nursey?  
> Read to find out!

**December 11th, 2015: The Day of Winter Screw**

Bitty stopped briefly at Jack's apartment after dropping him off at the airport in order to collect his things. Normally, Bitty would use this time to make a few surprise dishes for his boyfriend to come home to, but the longer road trip meant that the food would have to sit in his fridge for nearly a week. Jack would have to make due with the meat pies in his freezer until Bitty could drive up for their first Christmas together the following Friday. Besides, tonight was Winter Screw and he had promised Dex that he would be back before the afternoon.

Bitty: I'm heading home soon. Should be an hour and a half.  
Bitty: Gotta stop at a store first.  
Bitty: Still excited for your date tonight?  
Dex: A little terrified but I think in a good way?  
Bitty: You don't have to worry. I promise. Tonight will be fun.

Bitty was relieved that Ransom and Holster had agreed on a date that they all knew. At least he would not have to worry about Dex being scared back into the closet entirely by a bad first date with a stranger. Bitty's first Winter Screw had ended with vomit on his shoes and a bad taste in his mouth, and he was determined that Dex would have a better night. Really, it was not a high bar to set.

******

Dex took a sip of punch and tried to calm his nerves, but he struggled to swallow it down. This was a huge mistake. He put on a brave face when Bitty had arrived at his dorm a few hours earlier holding a bright yellow novelty tie with white polka dots on it, insisting that he wear it so his date could find him easily at the pre-party meet up. Right now, Dex felt like an idiot. What was he thinking going along with something like this? What had he been thinking when he _asked_  for it? 

He noticed another student spiking the punch and he promptly finished his cup and poured himself another. The alcohol would help calm his nerves. He had a flask stashed in the pocket of his coat, but he was hoping to save it for later.

"I didn't expect to see you here," Nursey came up from behind him and grabbed a cup for himself.

"Careful. It's spiked," Dex warned him quietly so the faculty chaperoning the even would not overhear. 

Nursey grinned. "Even better. So... You got set up with a date for tonight?"

Dex's stomach twisted in a knot, suddenly realizing that his date could arrive at any minute and Nursey would see it was a man. He had to find a way to end the conversation quickly. "I heard you did too."

"Yeah. Just felt like it, you know?" Nursey looked Dex up and down, but his eyes settled on the tie around his neck. "You look ridiculous," he chirped.

"I feel ridiculous. Thanks," Dex groaned. "So, you've finally decided to talk to me again?"

"You don't want me to?" Nursey frowned. "Anything you want to tell me?"

"Not really. Not tonight."

"Are you mad at me? What did I ever do to you?" Nursey grabbed Dex's arm but was immediately shrugged off. 

"Just fuck off already and go find your date, okay? Leave me alone."

Nursey scoffed and took a sip of his punch. "I guess your smiles are all reserved for someone else nowadays, huh? Nice chat," he walked away.

Dex took a deep breath to hide how shaken he was and poured himself a third cup of punch. What had Nursey meant by that? And why did he care if Dex was waiting on a date, wasn't he doing the exact same thing? His eyes scanned the growing crowd in time to spot his handsome fellow d-man, now chatting with a cute girl across the room. She wore a green hat on top of her long red hair that matched the one Nursey was wearing. He turned his body back towards the punch table, unable to watch.

This was most definitely a mistake. Too much was changing too quickly. Dex put his empty cup down and pulled out his cell phone to text Bitty. He was about to type 'I can't do this' when an incoming text popped up on his screen. 

Bitty: Your date just arrived. Deep breaths.

Dex's palms began to sweat and his heart raced. He could not do this. He was not ready in the least. He turned to make a break for the door but nearly collided with a blur of blond hair. It was Bitty. The words in his head all rushed out before he could properly censor himself. "Sorry. I can't do this. It's a mistake. I'm not ready. I probably suck at kissing nevermind anything else. I can't go on a date with-!"

"Me?" Bitty chuckled.

Dex blinked in confusion, the alcohol already making his mind feel fuzzy around the edges. He took a step back and noticed the yellow polka dot tie around Bitty's neck. "Wait, what?"

"I know you asked me to set you up with a date, but I was afraid you weren't ready and I didn't want you to have a bad experience. You should have fun tonight," he squeezed the young defenseman's arm.

"Oh thank god!" Dex breathed a huge sigh of relief and pulled him in for a tight hug. "I'm not ready for a real date," he added as he let go.

"Hey now, you _do_  have a date tonight. In fact, you sorta have _three_."

"Huh?" It was only then that Dex noticed the two co-captains of the Samwell men's hockey team standing behind Bitty also wearing embarrassing matching ties. "I don't- What?" He blinked again.

Ransom laughed and patted Dex on the shoulder. "Well, _officially_  if anyone asks we'll say we're all going stag. Don't want to start any crazy rumours around here or anything. _Unofficially_ Holtzy and I are chaperoning your date with Bits, and honestly bro? We're all just here to support you and make sure you have a good night."

Bitty had finally confessed to them that his friend in question was Dex the day before, after double and triple-checking that the younger man did not mind them knowing. Despite knowing Bitty had told them he was gay, this was not what Dex had expected from his senior fellow defensemen.

"Yeah. You know you can come to us for anything, right? Whatever's on your mind, you can tell us. We're happy you confided in Bits, but know that we have your back too. For anything," Holster added. "We're your captains, and your friends. You can trust us."

Dex exhaled, only then realizing he had been holding his breath since Ransom had started talking. He smiled. "Thanks," he noticed Bitty helping himself to some punch and tapped his shoulder. "I think someone spiked that, just so you know."

"Oh? That's okay. One drink won't hurt, right?" Bitty smiled and poured two cups while the other half of their strange little group date served themselves. He handed the cup to Dex. "Our secret, right?"

Secret? _Oh god, **Jack**_. Dex thought instantly. "Oh no. I can't ask you to do this. You have a boyfriend. Won't he be mad if he finds out?"

"First of all, you're not _asking_ me to do this -- I'm doing it willing because I want to help. Secondly, my boyfriend already knows and he's fine with it. That's not what I meant by 'secret' dear," Bitty laughed.

"So he's okay with you bringing someone as your date to Screw?"

"Well, we won't be doing any of _**that**_  tonight," Bitty laughed again causing Dex to blush. He pulled out his phone and quickly typed something while Dex fumbled with an apology. "It's a joke. Besides, look. Jack is fine with it, see?" He handed his phone to the flustered redhead.

Bitty: I'm with Dex. Can you tell him you okay with the plan tonight?  
Jack: Haha. It's fine Dex. Don't worry.  
Jack: But if you try to kiss my boyfriend I'll kill you.

Dex's face paled and Bitty snatched the phone back from his hand. "I- I wouldn't! I swear!"

Bitty: JACQUES LAURENT ZIMMERMANN!!!!!!!  
Jack: Hahaha!  
Jack: Sorry Bittle. Couldn't resist.   
Jack: I know you're a good kid, Dex. You can talk to me too if you ever need.

Bitty showed the follow-up responses to Dex to put his mind at ease. "You know, Jack has had a lot of trouble with anxiety too. It might help if you talk to him. You should consider it," Bitty smiled. "He wants to help if he can."

"Thank you," Dex smiled. Maybe it was going to be okay, after all.

******

Nursey was not having a good night. Why was Dex angry at him? If Nursey was not mistaken, Dex had been happy to see him when he got home from thanksgiving weekend. He had smiled and told him to stay in town next year. Did he get _that_ offended by Nursey offering to find him a date for tonight? It was an innocent offer. He had no way of knowing that Dex was dating Bitty at the time, even now, he had not told Nursey. If not for overhearing the tadpoles' converstion, Nursey would still have no idea.

He tried to have a good time, but it was hard not to let his eyes wander back over to Dex, Bitty, Holster, and Ransom. The captains were wearing the same matching ties, was it a cover? They knew about Bitty and Dex dating too? Someone tapped his shoulder.

"Yeah... You're not even listening, are you?" The cute red-haired girl at his side let out a bored sigh. "You've been distracted all night, what gives?"

"Sorry. One of my teammates has been mad at me for like, two weeks, and I have no idea why. I tried talking to him when I got here and he told me to fuck off. He's keeping this big secret from me and I can't get him to admit it, even though I found out about it already."

"So? Leave him alone if he doesn't want to talk about it. He'll tell you when he wants you to know, right?"

"You don't _understand_. He's one of my best friends and now he's secretly dating a guy and I didn't even know he _liked_ guys..."

"So? Why does that matter?"

"Because it just does. I mean, if he had told me _sooner_..." Nursey looked up and noticed the quartet he had been spying on all night had left the party.

"Okay... Well... I'm gonna go. Adam said you were a chill dude, but you'd clearly rather not be doing this," she removed her green hat and pressed it against Nursey's chest. "I'm not feeling it at all, I'm gonna take off."

"I-!"

"It's fine. If you're that hung up on your friend you should tell him what's been bothering you. Just, don't be like, a homophobic dick about it, okay?"

"What? I- I'm not! I don't have a problem with him dating a _guy_ , but it's..." _It's not **me.**_ Nursey sighed. "Sorry. I've been a pretty bad date tonight, I guess."

"It's fine, whatever. Don't beat yourself up over it, you're doing enough of that already," she gave him a small wave before turning to leave. "See ya around, Derek."

Nursey finished his drink and grabbed his coat from the coat check. He caught sight of Chowder and Farmer as he was about to leave and stopped briefly to greet them. "Hey. Haven't seen you two all night."

"We got here a little late," Farmer admitted. "Are you leaving?" She asked when she noticed the coat slung over Nursey's arm.

"Yeah," he sighed. "My date just left so I'm gonna head home."

"Oh no!! We didn't even get to see what she looked like! Are you going out again?"

"No. I think this was a one-time deal," Nursey rubbed the back of his neck. "Have you talked to Dex tonight?"

"Just for a little bit. I think he left a few minutes ago," Chowder watched his friend closely. Nursey had been preoccupied with Dex lately it seemed, yet he unwilling to talk to his defensive partner directly. "Are you still fighting??"

"We're not- we're not fighting... I think. I don't even know what's happening anymore, really. I'm... I gonna go," he forced a smile and turned to leave. "Goodnight, guys."

"Nursey!!! Wait!!" Chowder wrapped his arms tightly around him. "You look so sad all the time..."

That caught Nursey by surprise. He had not realized that his emotional state had been so obvious, then again, if anyone was going to notice he was struggling it would be Chowder. He patted his friend on the back and eased out of the hug. "I just- I don't know why he's mad at me," he shrugged.

"What??? Dex isn't mad at you!! He said you were the one avoiding him!!!"

"Well, he's mad at me tonight, that's for sure."

"I'm sure this is all a big misunderstanding," Farmer smiled to reassure him.

"Yeah. Maybe," Nursey smiled at them both and quickly made his getaway. He was crossing through the south quad when he thought he heard someone calling his name. He looked up.

"Nursey! Oh thank goodness! Little help?" Bitty waved to him from a nearby bench, the familiar form of a 6'2" redhead slumped against his shoulder. He smiled as Nursey jogged over. "I think he had too much to drink."

"What? How?" It was one of the more difficult school dances to sneak alcohol into usually, unlike outdoor events such as the Spring C. Although it was possible -- Nursey did vaguely recall his own drunken stumbling home to the freshman dorms the year before -- Dex was not the type to 'let loose' like this usually.

"Umm," in the dimly lit quad after midnight, Nursey could see that Bitty's face was a little flushed as well. "There was sssome spiked punch and then Holtzy had a- uhh... Flask! Flask? Flask, and we all shared them and Rans snuck us some beers and then we drank a lot. Oh!" Bitty reached inside Dex's winter coat and pulled out another flask. "He has one too!"

"Where are Holster and Ransom?"

"They went home about, um, twenty minutes ago? Dex and I were uh, talking, so they gave us privacy."

Nursey cringed. _Sure. **Talking**. Everybody needs privacy to talk to someone._  He had not had much to drink, but suddenly Nursey felt like he might be sick. It was not Bitty's fault, or Dex's fault. Nursey had nobody to blame but himself for never admitting to his friend how he really felt. _Now it's too late._  He told himself. 

"He keeps trying to go to sleep. Can you help? He's too heavy when he leans on me," Bitty attempted to stand with Dex, but only managed a few steps before his legs started to wobble. "Wake up, Dex!"

"Hm?" Dex blinked back into consciousness. "We're still here?" He laughed as he glanced around the quad. "Aren't you cold?"

"Freezing! Time for bed!" Bitty nudged him upright but it did not last for long and Dex began teetering in the opposite direction. "Dex!"

Nursey swooped in under Dex's arm to steady him. "Okay, okay. You need to sleep this off."

"Nursey? I was jusss talking 'bout you..." Dex slurred a little and tightened his arm around Nursey's shoulders.

"Yeah, sure. Sorry, I'm just here to help Bitty, don't mind me," He led the way towards the Haus, one arm hooked under Dex's arm while he pretended not to notice Bitty's arm around the redhead's waist. "Well, we're here."

"You didn't have to walk me home too," Bitty paused at the steps to the Haus. "Are you going to be okay by yourself?"

"I'm fine," Nursey shrugged and took a step closer to the porch with Dex. "Do you need me to help him up to your room, or..."

"What? Goodness, no!" Bitty laughed.

Right. They had only been together for a couple weeks by then, Nursey reasoned. Bitty seemed like the innocent type who would take things slow. That was a little bit of a relief at least. "The couch, then?"

"Not a chance!" Bitty laughed again, bracing himself against the railing. "I don't want to risk my brand new couch with a hungover frog!"

"Then where?" 

"I thought you were taking him back to the dorms. Oh no! I never asked, did I? So rude. I'm sorry," Bitty giggled. "Can you walk him home? I can come too if it helps."

Nursey wave his free hand to dismiss Bitty when he saw the blond take a shaky step back down the stairs of the porch. "No, no. Not a problem. Go to bed, I can handle this. Goodnight Bitty," Nursey smiled and waited until he was safely in the Haus.

"We're walking again?" Dex chuckled and turned his face into Nursey's neck. "Isn't Bitty nice? He's so nice..."

Nursey bit his lip when he felt Dex's hot breath on his neck. This was not fair, especially when Dex was talking about another guy. "Yeah, buddy. He's really nice," Nursey meant it, too. He loved Bitty, he really was a great guy. Under any other circumstance, Nursey would be thrilled for their pint-sized teammate... But why did it have to be Dex? Of all people, the _one_ person he liked since coming to Samwell? "You must really like him, huh?"

"He's great. Bitty's so nice to me..."

Nursey sighed. "That's good," they arrived at the dorms and he helped Dex into his room. He grabbed a glass of water and when he turned back around, his intoxicated friend had pulled off his shirt and flopped onto his bed. "Hey, wait. Don't go to sleep yet. At least drink some water first."

Dex sat up and did as he was told. A few drops of water slipped out the corner of his mouth and Nursey watched them trail down his jaw and neck, slowing as they neared his collarbone. Nursey reached to dry them but Dex flinched away and caught his wrist. "What are you doing?"

Nursey held his palms flat in a 'surrender' gesture. "Sorry, just, you were dripping. Sorry. I wasn't thinking," he glanced down, embarrassed, and his eyes focussed on the freckles on the other man's strong shoulders. How many times had he imagined tracing them with his fingers? Playing nonsensical games of 'connect-the-dots' while Dex laughed and sweared at him for being a love struck idiot. _Fuck_. "I should go. Are you feeling okay? Do you need me to get a bucket or something in case you get sick?"

Dex handed his glass back to Nursey and slid down into his bed, lying on his back. His hand was still gently holding his friend's wrist. He turned onto his side and looked up at Nursey. "I'll be okay. You're nice too, you know? I like this..."

"Like what?" Nursey breathed.

"I don't like you ignoring me," his fingers relaxed around Nursey's wrist, sliding down to his hand.

Nursey sighed. "It's not the time to get into this, I know, but I _tried_ talking to you today and you told me off..."

"I'm sorry. I was so nervous. I didn't want you to see me on a date with a guy. I was scared," Dex's eyes fluttered closed for a moment but he continued talking. "Bitty's so nice."

"I know."

"He's helped me so much..."

"That's good."

"Hey, hey!" Dex tapped Nursey's arm as the other man attempted to cover him with his blanket one-handed. "You're really handsome, you know?"

Nursey forced a laugh. Seriously? This was too cruel. "Thanks, Dex."

"I mean it..." Dex's pale fingers began to brush lightly up Nursey's sleeve. "So handsome..."

The other man cleared his throat and stepped back from the bed. "This is making me a little uncomfortable. You're too drunk, I think you need to sleep it off. I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"

"Okay," Dex smiled and cuddled into his pillow. He drifted off to sleep quickly once Nursey turned off the lights and locked the door behind him. The sober man, however, would have a much more restless night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next stop, the Samwell boys gather at the Haus to watch the Falconers play the Aces, and the night quickly descends into a Haus party.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case you're curious about which song they're dancing to, it's "Lose Control" by Hedley. (Haha see what I did?)

**December 12th, 2015: Day of the Haus Party**

Dex sipped his coffee from Annie's as he walked to the Haus. The remnants of his hangover had finally faded, and although the last third of his night had been a bit of a blur, Dex knew it had been a lot of fun. He arrived at the Haus as Holster was coming down the stairs holding a selfie stick. "Hey bro! You're alive!"

"Was there a chance I wouldn't be?"

"Bitty said you got pretty wasted last night. We didn't know you had your own flask. You're looking pretty good though, not hungover?"

"A bit of one this morning, but it's long gone now."

"Ugh, to be young again!" Holster laughed and turned into the living room. "Hurry up, Bits! Can't do this without your phone!" His voice boomed.

Bitty scurried out of the kitchen still wearing his oven mitts and an oversized Falconer's jersey. "Oh, dang it!" He stepped back into the kitchen and shook the mitts off onto the table. He finally noticed Dex on his second pass through the hallway. "Dex! Perfect timing, come on!" He hooked him by the arm and dragged him into the living room. 

Dex was met with a room full of his Samwell teammates wearing various pieces of Falconers apparel. He looked down at his own, regular clothes. "Did I miss a memo or something?" He knew there was a game tonight, but it had not occurred to him put on his Falconers shirt before leaving for coffee that afternoon.

"Team group text. Didn't you check your phone?" Lardo laughed.

Dex pulled out his phone and realized that the battery had died. He had not charged it when he went to sleep like usual. "Crap. Does anyone have a charger?" 

"Over there bro, next to the TV," Ransom pointed it out. "Don't worry, Bitty's got a whole pile of Falconers swag you can borrow. Right Bits? Pick something quick though because you should get in this group shot with us."

"Oh, well, most of it only fits me, but you can wear this hat!" Bitty reached into the bin behind the couch and tossed him a blue baseball cap with the Falconers' logo on it. "Alright, get in here. Everybody squeeze together!" He attached his phone to the selfie stick that belonged to either Ransom or Holster, but both denied ownership of. 

Bitty took nearly a dozen photos before deciding which was the best one to send to Jack. While he flipped through his options, Dex overheard some of the tadpoles whispering.

"Bitty's so cool!"

"I can't believe he's best friends with Jack Zimmermann!"

"So lucky!"

"I can't believe I had to catch a flight that night for thanksgiving and missed that dinner. Did he really say he would visit again?"

"He did! I wasn't a big Falconers fan before, but Jack Zimmermann was so nice that I will cheer for them anytime! He even helped make dinner the next day!"

"They're both so nice! That must be why they're best friends!"

Dex let out a sudden burst of laughter, unable to contain his amusement any longer. It was adorably naïve of them to immediately jump to the best friend conclusion. "Sorry," he apologized. "I shouldn't be eavesdropping."

"You must know him really well too, huh? Since he's Bitty's best friend."

"Hm?" Dex failed to see the connection there, but answered anyway. "Yeah. He was also my captain here for a year, don't forget."

"Oh, right!"

Dex saw the screen of his phone light up as it charged enough to turn back on. He excused himself to check it and saw he missed three incoming text messages. The most recent one was sent about an hour and a half before, a mass text to the Samwell men's hockey team about meeting at the Haus for a group photo in Falconers gear in anticipation for that night's game. It had been a complete fluke that Dex had arrived just in time.

The other two messages were from Nursey, sent about ten minutes apart.

Nursey: Hey! How are you feeling this morning?  
Nursey: Can we talk sometime tonight? About the things you said yesterday?

Dex froze, staring at his screen. What had he said yesterday? Was this about telling him off at the meet up party? He did owe Nursey an apology for that, he supposed. Why did he ask how Dex was feeling? Maybe Chowder had told Nursey how drunk he ended up getting. Yeah, that must be it. He forced himself to take a few deep breaths and looked around the room. Nursey was there, and he was watching him.

Dex excused himself to the kitchen to seek out Bitty. "Um, strange question..."

"What is it?" Bitty glanced up briefly from the pie he was in the middle of making.

"Did we hang out with Nursey last night?"

"No. Oh! But I did ask him to help you home last night. We both drank too much and I couldn't carry you all the way there."

"Oh," it slowly came back to him after hearing Bitty say it. Nursey had helped him into his room. That must have been where the glass of water on his night stand came from, it was not something Dex normally thought to do when drunk. "Oh shit..."

"What's wrong?"

"Um, I'm going to go back to my dorm for a bit. I'll be back tonight for the game. I'll wear my Falconers shirt too."

"Dex," stepped away from the counter and partially blocked his path. "What happened?"

"I think I did something stupid last night. I," he glanced up and saw Nursey coming down the hall from the bathroom. His words from the night before started flooding back into his head. "I gotta go. I'll explain later!" Dex darted into the living room to grab his partially charged cell phone, slipped on his coat and boots, and was out the door before Nursey had a chance to corner him.

Dex told him. He told Nursey that his Winter Screw date was a man. "You're such a fucking idiot..." he mumbled to himself as he walked quickly towards the dormitory. The relief of the morning was quickly replaced with dread. His heart sank as he remember what happened next. He told Nursey he thought he was handsome. Not only did he now know that Dex was attracted to men, but now Nursey knew that he was attracted to _him_.

Dex hurried to lock his door behind him, suddenly imagining Nursey chasing after him, despite being the only person in the hallway. He kicked off his shoes and curled up in bed, wrapping himself up in his blanket like a cocoon.

Too much change was happening too quickly. He never should have said anything to Nursey, he never should have had so much to drink, he never should have asked Bitty to set him up on a date with a man, and he never should have come out to anyone in the first place. Life was much easier when he could force those thoughts and feelings down and out of the way. He ruined everything. It was stupid of him to think this would ever be a good thing for his life.

And then he remembered Nursey's response:

_**"This is making me uncomfortable."** _

Those words hit Dex like a load of bricks. There was no going back. Everything had changed and it was all his fault. _You're so fucking stupid. You got what you deserved._ He thought to himself. How was he ever going to face Nursey again after this?

******

Nursey: Are you going to watch the game at the Haus?  
Nursey: If you don't want me there, I'll leave.  
Nursey: I've reacted badly to everything. Please give me a chance to apologize. In person.  
Nursey: I know you. I know you're probably freaked out by everything yesterday. It's ok tho.   
Nursey: Can we talk this out? I think the only thing worse than you being mad at me is you avoiding me...  
Nursey: Ugh. Sorry. Lots of texts, I know. Please come for the game tonight. I won't bug you anymore if you don't want to talk right now. Come find me when you decide you do...

Dex could not believe his eyes when he woke up three hours later. Six missed texts all from Nursey? He was not the type to get stressed out about anything. Dex stared at his phone. Re-reading the messages over and over again. He said that he wanted to apologize for his reaction. Maybe he was not as repulsed by Dex as he thought. Nursey's messages had a sense of desperation to them that made him feel guilty at the thought of ignoring them.

Dex's hands trembled as he tried to type his response. He kept hitting the wrong letters and had to rewrite nearly every word.

Dex: Okay. I'll be there...  
Dex: But I'm not sure if I can face you right now.  
Nursey: I know, I'm sorry.  
Dex: Can we do this over text instead? It might be easier for both of us.  
Nursey: I don't want it to be easy for me. I need to apologize properly.  
Nursey: I'll wait as long as it takes until you're willing to talk to me. Face to face.  
Dex: I'll see you tonight.

Would it even make a difference? Dex was sure the damage had been done. Even if Nursey apologized for saying he was uncomfortable, nothing would really change. First of all, it was not something he should apologize for anyway. Dex was drunk at the time, but that did not give him a 'get out of jail free card' for hitting on his straight friend. If anyone needed to apologize, it was him. Despite his harsh words earlier that evening, Nursey had helped him home and taken care of him. And in return, Dex had told him he liked men then drunkenly hit on him. Of course he would be uncomfortable. Anyone would. The remarkable thing was that Nursey wanted to stay in touch, Dex reasoned.

He crawled out from the safety of his blanket cocoon and promptly made his bed. The rest of his life may have been chaos, but his room did not have to be. He straightened up the rest of his room and got dressed in a long-sleeved Falconer's shirt. He neatly combed his hair and slipped on his coat, trying his best to force down his anxiety as he walked back towards the Haus. This was an important game to watch, Jack and Kent Parson's long-standing friendship was sure to form a heated rivalry between their teams. It was sure to be exciting seeing them on the ice together, even on opposing sides, although Bitty had been vague as to why he seemed nervous about it. 

When Dex arrived, the Haus already reeked of a combination of pizza and cheap beer. The living room was crowded with about 75% of the Samwell men's hockey team as well as some of the volleyball girls, Farmer obviously included, and a few members of the women's hockey team. There were even a couple lax bros in the mix, but they were wearing Falconers colours so it seemed as though they were being given a free pass, for the time being at least. 

Everyone crowded around the TV to watch the pre-game coverage, erupting into a thunderous cheer when the group photo the team had taken earlier was shown on screen. Bitty had texted it to Jack as a show of support privately, then tweeted it at the Falconers' account when his boyfriend had given his approval. There was a chorus of young men telling each other to shut up as the discussion continued to cover Jack's support both _from_ and _of_ his old Samwell team, highlighting a series of tweets the younger boys had made during Hausgiving about him treating them to dinner after their win and helping in the kitchen the next day. 

Dex looked back at Bitty, who was grinning proudly as the sportscasters gushed about Jack's team spirit, natural leadership, and enthusiasm for the game. He noticed Dex and gave him a wink, and the redhead smiled back. It was then that he noticed Nursey was sitting just beyond Bitty and he quickly looked away. It was going to be harder to hold his nerves together than he thought.

******

The game aired late in the evening due to the difference in time zones, and ran long as the tied score brought them into overtime, followed by a shootout. The second Kent Parson made the winning shot, Bitty's head was buried in his phone, no doubt texting Jack furiously. While the Haus morale was momentarily brought down by the Falconers' loss, it was not for long. The game had been fast-paced, hard-fought, and exhilarating to watch, not to mention that the mass beer consumption had led to a healthy shared buzz. Holster and Ransom got the music blaring and a dance party quickly ensued.

It was not quite the mass of the Epikegster held almost one year earlier, but it was wild enough for Dex's taste. He was happy enough tucked in the corner of the room, sipping his beer. Bitty disappeared about an hour into the party, but returned a half hour later with a troubled look on his face. Dex waved him over. "Something wrong?"

Bitty sighed. "Can you keep a secret?" Dex scoffed. "Right, of course you can. I'm just a little worried, to be honest. Nobody knows this, but Jack and Kent got in a big fight last time they saw each other and they've barely spoken all year."

"I had no idea. Oh god, I've asked him _so_ many questions about Kent Parson..."

"That's fine. But..." They walked to the kitchen for a more quiet atmosphere. "Anyway, they're sitting down for a big talk right now and Jack isn't replying to my texts anymore. Not that I expected him to text through an important conversation or anything, but at least send me a 'brb' or something instead of sudden silence. I'm sure everything is fine, but I would be less worried about what Kent might say if Jack didn't also have to deal with losing to the Aces earlier."

"Are things _that_  bad between them?"

"For now, but hopefully this talk will resolve that..." Bitty checked his phone again. "Ugh! I need a distraction."

"Drinking helps," Dex suggested, reaching into the fridge and grabbing his friend a beer. He took another for himself.

The song changed in the other room and Holster's voice boomed over the din. "Bits! Get your ass down here!" Evidently, he thought Bitty was still in his room.

Bitty quickly finished his beer, faster than Dex had ever seen him do before. "Ugh. Beer is awful," He grabbed Dex by the arm and dragged him back into the living room. "Dancing helps too!"

"No, no. I need at _least_ one more drink before I even _**consider**_ that!" Dex wriggled free and took up his post along the wall.

He watched Bitty dancing with Ransom and Holster. Bitty really was someone to be admired, and for much more than being 'best friends' with NHL star Jack Zimmermann. He was unapologetically himself, and Dex could not help but wonder if he could ever be that confident in himself.

From their long talks over the previous two weeks, it was sometimes hard to picture the timid, bullied teenager from Bitty's stories was the same man before him now. Now he was laughing and working out ridiculous dance moves with his teammates. Dex sipped his beer and watched them in awe and amusement.

At one point, when the beat of the chorus picked up, Bitty leapt up, wrapping his strong legs around Holster's waist and his arms around the taller man's neck in one quick movement. Holster let out a loud laugh and gripped Bitty's thigh with one hand and the other held his back, his fist balling up in the oversized jersey, to assure he would not fall. Ransom came up behind Bitty, sandwiching him between the two much larger defensemen. Holster whispered something in the smaller man's ear and Bitty's head rocked back with laughter before he hopped back down about 30 seconds later.

Bitty squeezed out from between the co-captains as there was an instrumental lull in the song and made a beeline for Dex. "Come dance!"

Dex smiled and tapped his beer. "I haven't had enough to drink yet," he tilted his head back to take another sip, but suddenly felt the can pressed closer to his lips -- Bitty was purposely holding it so Dex would be forced to quickly finish the rest of its contents.

"You're done! Come dance!" Bitty pulled him onto the dance floor. Dex had managed to avoid dancing the night before at Winter Screw, but it seemed as though Bitty would not be taking no for an answer this time.

Dex was not drunk, but he was tipsy enough that dancing no longer felt like the worst idea ever. The others usually assumed that he could not dance, but that was not actually the case. Alone in his room, with the door locked and head phones on, he had danced along to his favourite songs countless times. He was always careful not to get caught.

As the beat of the chorus picked up again, Dex found himself being bounced around uncontrollably, as Ransom and Holster decided to do their best 'Night at the Roxbury' impression. When finally freed, Dex was laughing and more than willing to dance with the much gentler Bitty. He danced for two more songs before making his escape when Bitty stopped to send another text to Jack.

He hid in the bathroom at the back of the Haus for the rest of next song to give himself a break, but upon exiting he was cornered by Nursey.

"Sorry, I know I said I would give you space..." The expression on his face was something between concerned and confused, which only added to Dex's own. "Can we talk for a bit?"

Dex gulped. "Right now?"

"Yeah. I can't wait like I thought I could," Nursey tugged on Dex's arm. "Outside, maybe? It's quieter there."

"Okay," Dex said quietly with a nod of his head. Maybe it was better to rip the bandaid off quickly. At least this way, his buzz might soften some of the blow. They grabbed their coats and headed out the back door. "Where should I even start?" He sighed.

"It's okay. You don't have to say anything," Nursey sighed as well and looked down. "I've been such an asshole about everything and I need to apologize."

"I'm the one who-!"

"Will, please..." Dex could not remember a time Nursey had ever referred to him by his first name, even the shortened form, and it rendered him speechless. "Just... listen for a minute. Please."

"Okay," Dex managed to squeak out.

"I'm a terrible person. You've been so happy lately and it actually makes me mad sometimes. Not _that_ you're happy, but I guess it's more _why_ you're happy? I know your secret, Dex. What I don't understand is why you didn't tell me sooner. I mean, I know it's only been a couple weeks and that maybe it's not the easiest thing to bring up and everything, but you must have known how you felt before then. Why didn't you talk to me?"

"You say that like it was easy for me to tell _anyone_."

"How many people have you told? Rans and Holtzy, obviously."

"Not directly. Bitty told them for me."

"And why _him?_ "

"It's hard to explain. We were talking about something privately and he just sort of figured it out. I didn't have to even say it, he just knew. He's been so great about everything, I don't know how I'll ever be able to make it up to him."

"Why didn't you sit next to him for the game? Was it because I was nearby?"

"What? No. I didn't even notice where you were until I was already comfortable. I've spent enough time hanging off Bitty lately, he doesn't need me literally stuck to his side," Dex laughed.

Nursey winced. "Shit..." He whispered.

"What?"

"Nothing," Nursey sighed. "I'm happy that you're happy... Even if I'm not the cause of it."

"What the hell does that mean?"

"Sorry, I get it. I shouldn't even be saying this. I'm obviously not your type or anything, but I can't help wishing I knew sooner. I guess I missed my shot, huh?"

Type? Shot? Was Dex hearing him correctly? His heart started to race. Surely he was misunderstanding something here. "I don't understand... What did you mean about missing your shot?" 

"I meant it like it sounded. I know it's a dick move to say it now, but I was always so afraid you would hate me. It took so much to win you as a friend, I didn't want to go back to square one. Maybe I'm only saying it now because I can use 'he likes someone else' as an excuse for being rejected..." He forced a  laugh.

Dex hated seeing the sad look on Nursey's face, but he could not make sense of what was happening.  Was Nursey actually saying he liked him? _Derek Nurse_ liked _him?_ Sure the guy was annoying as hell, but otherwise completely out of his league. "... If you're not?" Dex whispered.

"What?"

Dex cleared his throat quietly and tried again. "What if you're not being rejected?" His usual judgement clouded by the alcohol in his blood, he reached up with one hand and brushed his cold fingertips across the whiskers of Nursey's five o'clock shadow, eliciting a shiver from the other man.

"What? But you-!"

Nursey's words were cut short when Dex leaned in and kissed him. It was clumsy -- he did not have much experience to go by -- but the other man's lips were so soft and warm that Dex could not hold back any longer. He had been doing that his entire life. But Nursey was in front of him and saying he liked him and Dex was _sure_ that he would regret it for the rest of his life if he forced himself to hold back this time.

"What the fuck? Dex!" Nursey pushed him away looking truly horrified.

"Sorry, I-!"

"Sorry doesn't really cut it right now, dude. Seriously! What the fuck is wrong with you?" The normally calm Derek Nurse was anything but at the moment. "This is _literally_ the least chill thing you have ever done.  _ **Ever**_. Never figured you for that kinda guy. Wow. I was so wrong about you..."

Dex watched helplessly in silence as Nursey stormed off. He knew it. He misread the signs and ruined everything. He never should have kissed him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dex likes Nursey. Nursey likes Dex. Dex keeps fucking talking about how great his friend Bitty is. Nursey thinks Dex is dating Bitty. Dex kisses Nursey. Nursey loses his (barely there by this point) chill because Dex should not cheat on his boyfriend Bitty. (You know Bitty, he's Jack Zimmermann's bff.) Dex is devastated because everything he feared would happen all this time actually happened. Nursey is devastated because his friend's boyfriend just kissed him and he never should have told Dex he liked him. Poor Bitty?
> 
> Confusion ensues. What will be the fallout from the Haus Party the next morning? (And when will Bitty notice that very familiar tshirt on an even more familiar body making the rounds on Twitter?)


	5. Chapter 5

"Bits? You awake?" Holster knocked on his bedroom door.

Bitty had been awake for a while that morning, but had drifted back off to sleep. The party had wound down around 3am, but he had spent most of the night talking on the phone to Jack. It was almost noon. "Hm? Yeah. I'm up, I swear."

"Can I come in or are you in the middle of _something?_ " He asked followed by a pointed cough.

"Oh lord! Just get in here!" Bitty grumbled, though he did glance down self-consciously to make sure he was indeed wearing pants. He was. "What is it?"

"Nursey's here and insisting that he talk to you. Something about an apology? He won't tell me what it's about but he's stressed out. _Actually_ stressed out. Haven't really seen him like this before."

"What?" Bitty had no clue why an apology would be necessary. "Where's he right now?"

"Downstairs with Chowder. Should I tell him to come up? He probably wants privacy."

"Yeah, sure... Thanks?"

"Yeah I have no clue what's going on either," Holster shrugged as he left.

Nursey came into Bitty's room a minute later and closed the door behind him. He looked nervous and... Sad? It was right for Holster to be worried, Bitty had never seen their 'chill' teammate look this way before either. "What's wrong, Nursey?"

"I didn't know if I should tell you, or wait for him to... I guess this is kinda a preemptive apology, then? I don't even know..."

Bitty cleared aside the textbook he was supposed to be studying before he fell asleep, and motioned for Nursey to sit with him on his bed. "Sit down. What's the matter?"

"I'm not the kind of guy to go after someone else's boyfriend. I promise I'm not trying to get between the two of you. I've liked him for a really long time, but it's completely my fault for never making a move and you're my friend and a really great guy and I don't want to screw everything up even more or see you get hurt because of me."

"What on earth are you talking about?"

"I know you're dating him now. I promise I will stay far out of the way."

Bitty's eyes widened. "How did you know?"

"Some of the tadpoles figured it out during your Hausgiving. I heard a couple of them talking about it last week and then another asked C and I directly when we went out for coffee."

" _Chowder_ told them?" Bitty could not imagine that being true.

"No, he had no clue either. We were both pretty shocked and denied it, but... Then I started noticing all of the smiles and casual touches, and it's pretty obvious after Screw and last night."

"I'm so confused..." What did Winter Screw have to do with Jack? Did Bitty mention he had driven back from Providence that morning while drunk?

"I'm sorry. I'm not trying to cause trouble, I swear. That kiss probably didn't mean anything to him anyway, he was kinda buzzed," Nursey sighed and stood up again. "I'll go now. I know you're probably not thrilled with me at the moment, but I needed to at least apologize because I really feel awful about it. It's my own fault that I missed my chance, anyway. You both deserve to be happy," he hurried from the room. 

"Nursey, wait!" By the time Bitty untangled his legs from his blanket and got downstairs the troubled defenseman was long gone.   
   
"So what happened?" Holster was reclined on the couch with his feet dangling off the end and his head in Ransom's lap. They both looked up at Bitty expectantly.

"I haven't the faintest idea..." Bitty shook his head. "Did Chowder go after Nursey?"

"Nah, he's in his room I think," Ransom replied.

"Is everything ok, bro? _Should_ we go after Nursey?"

"Maybe not yet... I'm... I'm going to get to the bottom of this. I'll let you know when I figure it out," Bitty walked back upstairs and grabbed his phone.

Bitty: I hope I'm not waking you. This is a really stupid question, but humor me. Okay?  
Bitty: Something strange just happened and I'm trying to make sense of it.  
Bitty: You haven't talked to Nursey lately, have you?  
Jack: Not since the day we went shopping for the new couch. Why?  
Bitty: Okay here comes the stupid question...  
Bitty: Did he kiss you that day?  
Jack: What? No! Hahaha!  
Jack: I know you warned me it was a stupid question, but that was completely unexpected.  
Bitty: Yeah. I'm as confused as you are.   
Bitty: Nursey just said all this stuff to me about not having to worry about him trying to steal my boyfriend then hurried off.   
Bitty: I think I need to talk to Chowder. Maybe he knows what this is about.  
Jack: Good luck with that. Haha!  
Jack: I should go. My roommate keeps snickering and looking at me and I have no idea why.  
Jack: Our flight is leaving soon and he's definitely scheming something...  
Jack: Let me know what happens with Nurse.  
Bitty: I will. <3

Bitty knocked softly on Chowder's bedroom door. It flung open. "NURSEY???? Oh!! Bitty! Did Nursey leave already? He's been so sad lately... I'm worried..."

"He left a couple minutes ago. Can I ask you a couple things? I can't really make sense of what he told me just now..."

"Anything!!"

Bitty took a seat on Chowder's desk chair. "Have the tadpoles been asking you guys about Jack? Nursey said they figured out we were together during Hausgiving. Did one of them ask you about it when you two went for coffee last week?"

"What??? No way!! They're WAY off!! The tadpoles have no clue your boyfriend is Jack!!!"

"Then what did he ask you that day?"

"The tadpoles all think you're dating Dex!"

"... **What?** " Bitty deadpanned.

"They said you went off somewhere with him for a while and were both happy when you came back so they all think he asked you out!! Where did you go???"

"We went to feed your fish! Dex saw Jack and I kissing so we talked to make sure he wouldn't tell anyone."

"Dex knows????? Does that mean it's okay if I mention it around him? It's so hard keeping secrets, he's one of my best friends!! OH!!!!!! Does Nursey know too????"

"No, he-!" Bitty paused. "Oh you've gotta be _kidding me!_ "

"What? What is it???"

"Nursey doesn't know _Jack_ is my boyfriend! He must think _Dex_  is!" It was all coming together now. "Have you talked to Dex this morning?"

"No. I've texted him a few times but he didn't reply yet..." Chowder said with a worried frown. "He didn't even say goodbye when he left last night and he _always_ does. Nursey didn't either. Do you think they're mad at me??? Nursey barely talked to me just now..."

"They'd have to be crazy and stupid to ever be mad at you, you sweet sweet boy," Bitty patted his shoulder as he stood. "They're not crazy, but as for the other part..."

"What??"

"Don't worry, okay? I'm going to get this cleared up soon. Nobody is mad at you. Thank you so much for keeping my relationship with Jack a secret, you're such a good friend," he gave Chowder a big hug. "I'm going to explain to Nursey. You don't have to keep it a secret from your best friends anymore. I think it's okay if Caitlin knows too. She's a nice girl."

Chowder squeezed him tightly. "Really???"

"Yes. Now, I'm going to take care of all this mess and everything will be back to normal. I think. Mostly normal. Maybe better," Bitty let go and smiled at the younger boy. "Okay. Sit tight."

Bitty trotted down the stairs to report the latest development to his captains. Was Ransom playing with Holster's hair? Bitty shook the question from his head, it was not important now, he had to stay focussed. 

"Well?" Holster craned his neck to peer up at Bitty, his head still in his partner's lap.

"Well, _apparently_  all the tadpoles think I'm actually dating _Dex_."

Ransom laughed. "Seriously? I thought we covered well enough with the bachelor's night out at Winter Screw."

"Oh no, no, no. This little rumour has been around since Hausgiving."

"No way!"

"There's more. _**Apparently**_  Nursey believes it too."

"Ohhh..." Holster piped up. "That makes sense now."

"What does?"

"No wonder Nursey's been weird lately if he thinks Bits is banging Dex. He's had that crush on Dex for like, a year now or some shit. _At least_."

"What? You knew that all this time?" Bitty asked.

"He's not exactly quiet about it. He flirts with him constantly. I thought everybody knew."

"Ugh! You people need to tell me these things!" Bitty pulled on his coat and took out his cell phone. He texted as he walked towards Dex's dorm.

Bitty: Do you think I'm dating Dex?????  
Bitty: Derek Andover Nurse get your butt back to the Haus right now!  
Nursey: Do you think my middle name is Andover?  
Bitty: No! But I'm not sure what your middle name is and my mama always uses mine when she scolds me so I just picked a random word I knew about you!!!  
Bitty: Haus now!  
Nursey: Sorry. I know you must be really mad now that everything has had time to sink in. I'll head back soon.  
Bitty: Do you like Dex?  
Nursey: I told you, I won't cause any more problems, I promise.  
Bitty: I'm dating JACK. 7 months now. Dex and I are friends, NOTHING MORE.  
Bitty: Wait at the Haus. Rans, Holtzy and Chowder all know. They can fill you in.

Bitty shoved his phone back into his pocket and doubled his pace. He knocked on Dex's door, softly at first, then harder when 30 seconds went by without a response. "Dex? Come on, open up!" He knocked even louder when he texted and another minute went by with no reply. If 'chill' Nursey was that upset about whatever happened the night before, Dex would certainly be struggling. "You're scaring me. Open this door or I'm contacting your RA and telling him it's an emergency. Chowder said you haven't replied to him all morning. Dex..."

There was some shuffling noises on the other side of the door and finally it opened. Dex looked horrible. "I fucked up last night, Bitty. _**So bad,**_ " He sat down on his bed and folded his arms on top of his knees. "I ruined everything. You have no idea..." Dex whispered, his forehead resting against his arms.

"You kissed Nursey."

Dex's head snapped back up. "You saw?"

"No, he told me."

"Oh god... Just fucking shoot me. I'm such an idiot!" He buried his head in his forearms again.

Bitty rushed to his side. "Oh, honey, no. You need to let me finish, it's not as bad as you think," he rubbed the taller man's back. 

"He pushed me away so fast. I'm disgusting. What was I even thinking. I knew it was impossible, but..." His voice cracked.

"Nursey thought you had boyfriend, _that's_ why he rejected you. I guess because we've been close lately some of the tadpoles misunderstood and passed that on to Nursey. He apologized to me this morning for kissing my boyfriend," Bitty said with a small chuckle. "You can imagine how confused I was, and how confused _Jack_  was when I checked with him. Chowder finally filled me in on the rumours."

"You don't know for sure-!"

"Do you like Nursey, honey?"

Dex refused to look up. He did like Nursey. He had been aware of that for a while now. Derek Nurse may have been an aggravating, privileged hipster, but he always had Dex's back. It took Dex some time to figure out how someone could simultaneously been so irritating and comforting. Actually, maybe he still did not quite understand how Nursey made that possible. "I... I do, but-!"

Bitty let out a soft, happy sigh. "I don't think you ruined anything," he tapped Dex's shoulder. "Look up."

Dex lifted his head to find Nursey standing in his doorway. "Shit!" He hid his face again. He was not crying, but he had been earlier and the last thing he wanted was for Nursey to see his puffy, bloodshot eyes. "What are you doing here?!"

Bitty looked over at Nursey. "Actually, yeah. What _are_ you doing here? I thought I told you to wait at the Haus?"

"I know, and I was going to, but then you told me that you two weren't really dating and I..." Nursey's eyes fell on Dex. "I came here... Instead..."

Bitty took that as his cue to leave. "I think you both have a lot to talk about, so I'm going to give you some privacy," he gave Dex's back one final reassuring pat and stood, but Nursey stopped him on his way out the door.

"I'm sorry that you got pulled into all of this mess, Bitty."

Bitty smiled and gave his arm a small squeeze. "It was for the best in the end, right? You would both still be hiding your feelings now, wouldn't you?"

Nursey let out a soft chuckle. "Yeah, probably."

"Now if you'll excuse me, I'm heading home for a nice peaceful nap. I think I've had enough drama for one day," Bitty laughed and pulled out his phone. He tweeted as he walked down the dormitory hallway.

\- "Frogsitting is still a full-time job. I'm going to need a talk with these tadpoles too... :S"

He scrolled down through the feed until a particular photo caught his eye. "Uh-oh..." It had originated from one of the Falconers players, followed by various tweets chirping about Jack's good looks though thankfully he remained unnamed. The last tweet made Bitty feel a twist in his gut. It read: _'Confirmed: no girlfriend. He's single, ladies!!!'_

Bitty knew the topic would come up eventually with Jack's team, frankly, he was surprised this was the first he had heard of it. They had discussed it and agreed that Jack was going to keep their relationship a secret until the season was over, but it still hurt a little to see the word 'single' announced to the world that way.

Bitty sighed. He hoped most of all that Jack would not be made aware of the tweets. He knew Jack felt guilty enough about hiding Bitty. _So much for being free of drama for the day._ He looked back down the hall at the closed door of Dex's dorm room. Knowing how you both felt did not mean that a relationship was automatically easy.

******

"Are you going to actually look at me?" Nursey asked. He was sitting next to Dex on his bed, but the redhead had yet to look up throughout their conversation. After two full weeks of misunderstanding each other they were finally talking everything through.

"It's all a little too much still right now," Dex admitted. "I'm so embarrassed..."

"Well that makes two of us, at least. At least you're not the idiot who spent the last two weeks silently freaking out that the guy you liked was dating someone else," Nursey laughed.

"True," Dex chuckled. " _Mostly_ true."

"What do you mean?"

"I only asked Bitty to find me a date for Winter Screw because I found out you asked Holster and Ransom for one... Thank god Bitty came as my date instead. There was no way I could have handled that."

"Well, I only asked Holster to find me a date because I wanted a distraction after hearing the rumours about you and Bitty. And he set me up with a _redhead_ of all people! So much for taking my mind off of you."

"What happened with that girl anyway? She was cute."

"She got bored and left early. Apparently all I did was talk about _**you**_ all night."

"Shut up. You're such a liar."

"It's true! I can give you her number and you can ask her yourself."

"Ha! You're a fucking idiot," Dex shook his head, raising it for the first time since their conversation began. "Are you going to see her again?"

"Oh, _I'm_ the fucking idiot? Have you been listening to a single thing I've said for the past half hour. _I like **you.**_  I'm not going out with that girl again, are you kidding me? What part of this are you not understanding?"

"I guess... the part where you actually like me for some unknown reason?"

"Pfft! What's not to like about you?"

Dex scoffed. "Essentially everything."

"Well, you're _wrong_  there, because I _like_  essentially everything about you. I mean, you can kind of be a dick sometimes, but aside from that..." Nursey trailed off with a grin. He put one arm around Dex's shoulders.

"Yeah, yeah. Sure," he laughed.

"I mean it. You're definitely a dick," Nursey smiled when Dex laughed again. "But you always call me on my bullshit."

"And that's a good thing?"

"It's fantastic."

"Ugh, you're messing with me aren't you?"

"I mean it. It's probably the first thing I really liked about you, if I'm being honest. We had our differences in the beginning, and yeah, it was super irritating at first that you were so bloody critical of everything... But then I realized that your comments meant you were actually paying attention to those things."

"You're such a weirdo. That's the worst thing I've ever heard."

"I grew up doing basically whatever I wanted. As long as I was quiet, kept my grades up, and didn't get caught doing something that would embarrass the family my parents didn't really care what I was up to. You have no idea how refreshing it was for someone to actually get irritated by me for once."

"Oh," Dex winced. "I take it back. _That's_ the worst thing I have ever heard."

Nursey laughed it off. "It's chill, I'm used to it. My parents are very busy people," he shrugged.

"Still..."

"Don't worry about it," Nursey tightened his arm around Dex a little more.

"Is this where I should reveal something poignant about my own messed up childhood?" Dex said, half-joking to lighten the mood. He hoped Nursey would not answer yes.

"Nah, it's okay. I know there's _something_ there, but no rush. You can tell me when or if you're ever ready," Nursey moved his hand to rub Dex's arm. "We have lots of time, right?"

"Right..." Dex said with a small, relieved smile. He sighed and allowed himself to lean ever-so-slightly into Nursey. "For me, it's this."

"What is?"

"The thing that I've always really liked about you. You've always got my back, even when you're pissed at me. You take care of people no matter what, including when you're dealing with your own stress."

"Insert pun about my last name here," Nursey chuckled. He stopped when Dex turned his head and looked him in the eye for the first time that day. "I... Can I kiss you?"

"You want to?" Dex blinked.

"Of course," Nursey slid his hand off of the other man's shoulder and up to cradle the back of his neck.  He leaned in, but Dex froze. "What's wrong?"

"Uh, it's just- last night..."

Nursey sighed and touched their foreheads together. "I wanted to kiss you, but you were kinda drunk and I thought you were cheating on your boyfriend. That's why I freaked out. It wasn't because I didn't want to... I've really wanted to."

"I..." The breath caught in Dex's throat. "I'm probably bad at it."

Nursey chuckled and brought his other hand up to touch Dex's cheek. "Chill, Dex. Or is it better if I say, chill Will."

"You're so annoying."

"Uh-huh. So, can I kiss you?" He grinned.

"If it means you'll stop talking, then _please-!_ " Dex was cut off mid-chirp by the kiss. Nursey was kissing him. It was really happening and it was finally not a mistake. He let his hand reach up to brush Nursey's neck on its way to tangling through his hair. The other man began to shift positions, guiding Dex back so they were both laying on his bed. "Wait!" He pulled away.

"Oh! No! I wasn't- I didn't-!" Nursey scrambled back. "My neck was sore, lying down is more comfortable. We don't have to... I wasn't trying anything, I swear. I know this is pretty new to you..."

Dex reached out and tugged on Nursey's sleeve to let him know it was alright. "It's okay, but... Just kissing."

"For sure. Yeah. Of course," Nursey nodded and slid down onto his side, facing Dex. "We'll go at your pace, however long that takes. No rush."

"Um," Dex hesitated again. "When you say how this is new to _me_... Does that mean it's _not_  new to you?"

"Well, not really. I mean, I was a queer kid at a _boarding school,_ some things happened, sure. I don't have like, _a lot_ of experience, but some... Sorry, I'm totally killing the mood, aren't I?"

"A little," Dex smiled. "We can keep going."

"Have I told you I love your smile?" Nursey moved in, kissing Dex's neck. "Do you remember calling me handsome the other day? This time is turning out much better than that night. You kept gushing about how wonderful Bitty was. You can't really blame me for thinking you liked him," he continued to talk between kisses.

Nursey's whiskers scratched against his skin. Dex was not going to admit it any time soon, but he loved the sensation. "You need to stop talking dude, seriously."

"Less talking, more making out?"

"Sure."

******

"We should tell Bitty that things are good now," Dex fumbled for his phone, feeling around for it with one hand while trying not to change the position of his body. He was lying on his back, and Nursey was beside him with one arm draped across his waist.

"Mmhm..." Nursey was struggling not to fall asleep. Restless nights were nothing new to him, especially in recent weeks, but the past two nights had been especially hard. "Are you? Good?"

"Still freaking out a little because I never thought this would happen, but yeah, mostly good," he imagined telling himself from two or three weeks earlier that he would one day have Nursey cuddling and making out with him, and it made him chuckle. Even yesterday, it seemed impossible. Hell, if he told himself from a year earlier he probably would have been punched.

"I know the past couple weeks have been crazy for you and so I totally get it if you're not ready yet but," Nursey shifted closer, placing a kiss on Dex's shoulder. "Will you go out with me?"

"I, uh..." Dex froze. Having a boyfriend meant that people would eventually find out. His parents would eventually find out. The rest of his family, his friends from high school... His father might even find out some day.

Nursey could feel Dex's entire body tense up. "Hey, it's okay. You can say no, I get it. A twenty minute make out session doesn't have to mean anything exactly. Like, don't feel pressured to jump into a relationship if you're not ready. I said we'd do this at your pace I meant everything... If you even want to."

"Of course I _want_ to," Dex admitted. "Oh."

"Oh?"

"I want to," Dex repeated, mostly for his own ears. He was scared to think of what obstacles might lie ahead, but they did not change the simple fact that he liked Nursey and _wanted_ to be his boyfriend. "I've liked you for a few months now at least. I can kiss you and touch you finally, so what am I waiting for? I want to."

"So that's a yes, then?" Nursey clarified with a grin.

Dex chuckled. "Yes, dumbass."

"Can I kiss you again?"

"You don't have to ask my permission each time, you know..." Dex turned onto his side, facing Nursey and pulling him in for a kiss. "I'm your boyfriend."

His text to Bitty could wait for later.

***End of Story***

(Epilogue to Follow)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stay tuned for the epilogue!


	6. Epilogue

**December 17th, 2015: 1 Day until Christmas Break**

"You're spending your break in Providence, right?" Dex asked Bitty as the group of hockey players who knew about their relationship sat around in the living room.

"Oh yes! I'm driving out as soon as classes are finished tomorrow," Bitty beamed. They had not had a chance to spend this much time together since before school and the regular season had started. "I'm a little nervous for the 22nd though..."

"Your families get along great. Relax Bitty," Lardo grinned. "Be thankful you don't have to deal with the _Knights_."

Chowder let out a small sigh and looked around the room. "I'm excited to go home, but I miss everyone so much whenever I go!!"

"It's only two weeks, kiddo. It will fly by," Ransom smiled.

"I hope not. I have three days at home and then I'm Toronto bound!" Holster clapped a hand on Ransom's shoulder and gave him a shake.

Nursey raised one eyebrow. "What's even up with you two?" Was it normal to spend the holidays in another country with your best friend's family instead of your own?

Lardo shook her head. "That's a loaded question, brah. Don't even go there. Trust me."

"Are you excited to see Jack???" Chowder asked Bitty.

"Are you excited to see more than just his torso?" Ransom laughed, referring to the now infamous tweets from Jack's teammate, Serge. Bitty frowned at him.

"At least the whole world didn't see one of _your_ photos," Holster grinned.

Bitty turned bright red. "Shush! How do you even know about those?!"

" _One_ \-- you just confirmed that you have naughty pics, and _two_ \-- THIN WALLS, ERIC!!!" Holster boomed.

"Oh lord... Topic change, please! Topic change to _anything_ else!"

"What about Dex and Nursey?" Ransom piped up. "You guys both going home for Christmas? You finally figured out your feelings and now you're going to be in separate states for two whole weeks. That sucks."

Dex and Nursey had intended to keep their brand new relationship mostly secret. They had agreed to tell Bitty so he would not worry, and Chowder because he was Chowder, but that plan had flown out the door within seconds of entering the Haus that Sunday afternoon a few days earlier.

One look at the irritated pink skin on Dex's face and neck and Holster had triumphantly announced _**'Beard burn!'**_ to everyone in earshot, which in his case, was everyone in the Haus. Bitty had rushed in from the kitchen to scold him and Lardo and Chowder had wandered down from their rooms to see what he was shouting about while Ransom laughed.

"Tsk. If only you silly boys had talked properly earlier. You could have avoided all that confusion and had two extra weeks together by now," Bitty shook his head.

"Are you kidding me right now? You told me yourself that you blew your chance with Jack. If not for him making the first move, you would probably still be pining away," Dex pointed out, and everyone laughed as the small blond blinked in shock.

Bitty reached over and patted Dex's arm. "We can't be friends anymore," he said solemnly and the group laughed again.

Nursey casually put his arm around his boyfriend's shoulders but was immediately shrugged off. "Stop touching me," Dex whispered. It was one thing when they were alone, but at the moment they were in a room full of their friends.

"You let _Bitty_ touch you," Nursey reasoned with a nod to where he had patted Dex's arm. He grinned.

" _Bitty_ has pure intentions!" He grinned back and gave Nursey a punch in his arm.

 The laughter of the room was interrupted by a timer going off in the kitchen. "My pie!" Bitty hopped to his feet. "Dex, come help me."

"Watch out, Nurse! He's gonna touch your boyfriend!"

"Oh god..." Dex groaned and closed the kitchen door behind them. "Hey, can I ask you something?"

"Of course!" Bitty pulled the pie from the oven and set it on the counter to cool. It was a one-person job. "Why else do you think I called you in here?" He smiled. "Is everything all right, hun? Are things going well with Nursey?"

"Hm? Oh yeah, great. Why?"

"Well, just now with the whole arm thing... "

"We were kidding around."

"I don't understand you boys at all," Bitty shook his head. "What was it you wanted to talk about?"

"You started dating Jack when he graduated, right? Was it hard to be separated like that so soon?"

"Well, it wasn't _easy_ , I'll tell you that. We didn't even get a chance to discuss it properly until I was already in Georgia. Are you worried about this break?" They spoke quietly so that their voices would not carry into the other room.

"I know it's stupid. It's only two weeks and then we're right back here again. I shouldn't care about it, but..."

"But you _do_ , so tell me."

"I'm kind of scared he'll come to his senses while he's gone."

"Tsk! 'Come to his senses' -- don't be silly. You're a catch and that boy is clearly crazy about you. Holtzy said he's known Nursey had a crush on you for a year. I know two weeks feels like a long time, but it will be over before you know it. It's not like anything is stopping you from keeping touch during it at least," Bitty flitted about the kitchen preparing ingredients for chocolate chip cookies.

"What do you and Jack do? Just text?"

"And call, and Skype. It depends on where he is usually. If he's alone then we can Skype, but if he has teammates or whoever around then we obviously can't do that."

"I don't think I could risk someone at home catching me skyping him, even a phone call might be too much," Dex sighed. "Texting it is. I didn't think it would bother me this much."

"That's why it's important to enjoy the time you have together. Focus on how nice it will be when you see each other again in January, rather than saying goodbye tomorrow."

"You're right," Dex sighed again. "Can I ask you something else? It's personal..."

"Of course! You can ask me anything."

"What's sex like?"

The mixing spoon Bitty was using slipped from his hand. " ** _What?!_** "

"Does it hurt? I mean, it sounded like you were both having fun at Hausgiving..."

"Oh god," the colour drained from Bitty's face. "You heard that too?" He had forgotten that Dex had crashed in Chowder's empty room that night after drinking too much.

"It was pretty hard not to. Thin walls and all that."

"Oh dear. I am so, so sorry!"

"It's fine. You weren't the only ones that night anyway," Dex shrugged. "I guess I'm just nervous? I have no clue what to expect."

"Well," Bitty took a deep breath, unsure of how to approach the topic. "I think the experience is a little different for everybody, but the important thing is that you take your time and make sure that you are both comfortable. It's only been a week, you don't need to rush into anything."

"I know..."

Bitty set the bowl of cookie dough down and whispered to be extra certain no one else could hear. "Nursey isn't _pressuring_  you, is he?"

"No!" Dex insisted quietly. "The complete opposite, actually. He keeps asking permission or insisting that I make the first move but I have no clue what I'm doing. If anyone is pressuring me, it's me. Nursey keeps saying that there's no rush but I'm worried he's going to get bored with me if I do nothing. I'm pretty sick of waiting, to be honest. I have a boyfriend now, don't I? I don't _need_ to be a virgin if I don't want to be, and I _don't_ want to be."

"Have you told him that? Communication is very important. This is new for the both of you-"

"It's not new to him. That's why I'm worried about going so slow."

"Oh, _really?_ " Bitty paused. He certainly could sympathize with the way Dex was feeling. He had fretted himself when Jack had visited Madison for many of the same reasons. But, Bitty could also understand it from the opposite side -- when Dex had approached him about a Winter Screw date, Bitty too had worried that he was not ready, and that a bad experience would be traumatic to his barely-out friend. "Don't you think that maybe Nursey is worried too?"

"About what?"

"Past experience aside, navigating a new relationship can be scary for anyone. It's exciting, of course, but it's hard to know how to meet the other person's expectations if you don't discuss it. If he's insisting you both take it slow, it's only because he cares about you and wants you to be comfortable,"  Bitty patted his shoulder before returning to his cookie dough. "I think you need to have another talk before you jump to any more worrying. This upcoming break might be a helpful thing, you know? You'll be forced to talk because that's all you can do with the distance."

"True," Dex stood from his seat. "Maybe I should be talking to him about this."

Bitty smiled. " _Maybe_. Communication is key, after all."

"Right. Thanks Bitty, for everything. You've been such a huge help to me. I don't know what I would've done if I didn't have you to talk to about it all. I'm sorry that I interrupted you and Jack at Hausgiving, but I'm glad that it led to us being like this. You're a great friend."

"Are you looking for a hug right now? Because that's what you're getting!" Bitty wrapped the larger man in a bear hug and squeezed.

******

"I should apologize," Nursey began as he walked back towards the dorms with Dex a few hours later through the falling snow. "For a couple things, actually."

"If this is about putting your arm around me earlier-"

"That's part of it. I know you're not into PDA, so I'll try to back off of that from now on. I want to touch you all the time, but if it embarrasses you then I'll stop."

Dex sighed. "It's not exactly that I'm _embarrassed_ , well maybe a little, but not by _you_. I just have no clue what I'm doing, in public situations or otherwise."

"That's okay, no rush."

The redhead gave a small groan. "You _say_ that, but..."

"I'm not bored, you know? I mean it. Anything but. There is so much we can do together and so much time to do it..." Nursey sighed. "And here comes my second apology: I heard a little of what you said to Bitty."

"You-!"

"I went to the bathroom and overheard on my way back, I wasn't trying to eavesdrop or anything."

"Oh. So... How much did you hear?"

"Just that. That you're worried I'm going to get bored of you. I won't, by the way. I'm much happier going slow than pushing you into something you aren't ready for or worse, regret after."

"I appreciate that and all, but like I said, I have no clue what I'm doing. I don't really know what I'm going to be uncomfortable with until we at least try it. I need you to make the first move sometimes -- I'll tell you to stop if I want to."

"Okay," Nursey nodded. "I can work with that. Is this okay? Nobody can see," He grabbed Dex's hand as they walked home in the dark. 

"It's okay," Dex smiled. "I'm so relieved," he confessed.

"You know, when I say I'm not in a rush, I mean it. This is the exciting part -- getting to know each other."

"We already know each other," he pointed out.

"Not as _boyfriends_ ," Nursey countered. "There are so many fun firsts to cross off our list before the serious stuff has to come up."

"Like what?"

"Well, holding hands is a first," he gave Dex's hand a small squeeze for emphasis. "First kiss in the snow..."

"I thought the cliché was kissing in the rain?"

"I'm working with what I've got," Nursey grinned and stopped walking, forcing his boyfriend to pause as well. "So...?"

"You're an idiot," Dex grinned back as he leaned in to kiss Nursey. "Where's this magical list of yours? You seem pretty eager to burn through it..."

"Don't worry, it's a _long_  list. It will take us a while to get through it."

"And then what? It's all downhill from there?" Dex laughed.

"I don't really know. Everything may be new for you, but this is also new to me. I've never really been in a relationship with anyone before," Nursey admitted as they continued walking, still holding hands. "Most people don't want to date me seriously, they get annoyed with me pretty early."

"You _are_ annoying. Fucking insufferable, really."

"Fuck off," Nursey bumped their shoulders together. "You're the idiot who agreed to be my boyfriend."

"Well, I've put up with you almost daily for a year and a half already. I think I can handle it."

"You're the only person who can tolerate me it seems," Nursey grinned and let go of his hand as they reached their dorm building. "So, no pressure or anything, but my only shot at a happy future basically rests on your shoulders," he teased.

"Is that so?" Dex paused when they got to the second floor where his room was located. "Um..."

"What is it?"

"My roommate said he's actually going to be home tonight. He has an early flight home tomorrow... Can I go to your room?"

"Of course. Are you sure?"

"Yeah," Dex smiled and started ascending the stairs to the third floor, where Nursey's single room was. "This is me making the first move, so the rest is up to you tonight."

Nursey grinned and followed him up the stairs. "I can work with that."

***End of Epilogue***

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They're going to cross a couple more things off that list lol
> 
> Thanks everyone for reading my Dex/Nursey sidefic! Next up is my Parse sidefic where the Aces play in Providence and he ends up on a double date with Jack, Bitty, and his teammate he didn't realize he's been dating for a while lol
> 
> After that, stay tuned for "La-crossed Lovers" -- my Romeo & Juliet inspired Zimbits AU where Bitty is on the Lacrosse team instead lol (if you follow me on tumblr you've probably seen me mention this already lol)

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks again to all you wonderful readers! I know we're all pretty psyched on Check Please right now and trying to devour every bit of it we can, BUT! If you're on Wattpad or WriteOn and want to read more stories about queer characters, please check out my original novel called "Bane" (my user ID is TDKeh16 on both sites). It's considerably darker than my Check Please fanfics, but I would love some feedback :) I'm almost finished it but I'm having a little trouble staying motivated through that last chapter (hence the multitude of CP fics lol)


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